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Happiness Equation: U = I – R | 5 Minute Video

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Is there an equation that can accurately predict how happy you will be? There is. Can you control the inputs of that equation, and thus your own happiness? You can. How? Dennis Prager, author of the best-selling book, “Happiness is a Serious Problem”, explains.

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Script:

You know, everybody wants to be happy, so why isn’t everybody happy? The obvious answer is, it’s not easy. And one of the single biggest obstacles to being happy is that people naturally compare themselves to other people and assume nearly all of them are happier than they are. This is a big problem. So, how would like an equation to determine the exact amount of unhappiness in your life?

Well, I am here to tell you that I have developed an equation. It is U=I-R. U is unhappiness, I is image and R is reality. The difference between the images you have had for your life and the reality of your life is the amount of unhappiness in your life, which gives you an idea of how powerful images are in hurting us.

It’s inevitable, everybody has an image. As you grow up, you imagine what life will be when you get older. I had very, very powerful images — if I may be personal, and it’ll help here to be personal, because I have gone through this. I imagined that I would be happily married, never divorced, have four perfect children sitting around the table discussing politics and theology, every meal. Well, it didn’t quite turn out that way. I was divorced. I was divorced with a child, and my kids didn’t always want to talk about theology and politics. Sometimes they didn’t want to talk at all. Sometimes they wanted to talk about sports, or about music that I couldn’t stand.

Now, I had to realize very early in my life that I would either have to abandon my image or I would be miserable the rest of my life. And this is true for just about everybody, very few people live out the image that they had assumed their life would follow and become. That’s what the mid-life crisis in so many people is about — whether it is male or female — especially for men. They reach 35, 45, 55 and then they think, “wait a minute, I’m not nearly what I had assumed I would be in terms of accomplishment and achievement. I thought I would be the CEO; I thought I would be a president; I thought I’d be the president of the United States; I thought I would be earning this amount of money; I thought I would be one of the most respected members of my community.” And then I would say every man ultimately fails the image that he has had for himself.

For the complete script, visit https://www.prageru.com/videos/happiness-equation-u-i-r

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45 Comments

  3. This is why it is best to imagine oneself being homeless. After some time of being homeless imagine being falsely accused of serial rape and homicide. Now you're looking at life imprisonment. Any reality is better than this imagination

  5. Such a great video that I've enjoyed over years. Might as well have your midlife crisis as a kid, in your teens or in your 20s then at age 55, get it over and done with now whatever age you are.

    12 May 2023
    4:37pm NZST

  9. I like to use Expectation rather than Image.
    If you go to McDonald's for a burger anywhere in the country, your expectations for a basic burger will usually meet the reality of the burger leading to a level of contentment. If the service is excellent your happiness will go up just as if the service is slow or the food is cold, your happiness will go down. If you go to a five-star restaurant with a dress code and pay for valet parking, your expectations are set higher and a McDonald's burger will not suffice to achieve contentment or happiness.

  17. There is also option 3: never settle for anything less than perfect, always strive for better and never back down. You will never be happy, you probably never gonna get married, because any girl would seem not good enough, you most likely gonna be alone for your entire life, but you'll have a chance to achieve such heights that would be completely unreachable without such sacrifice.

  19. What bull next thing you'll say is joy is a matter of mental disapline. This implies that my level of joy is totally up to me! Could it be that I'm not a victim of what ever is the latest fad!? If this were true then a just God would provide a list of say ten things that destroy joy. Could this be what the ten commandments are? Please forgive me while I get my tongue unstuck from my check. Thank God someone is saying this, if you're misrable perhaps it's because of the way you choose to see life. It's real simple happyness and or joy are the result on mental disapline. That's all.

  25. Let' elaborate this equation.
    U = I – R
    When R, Reality is 0..
    U = I
    Means, When there is no reality, Unhappiness is imagination..
    When I, Imagination is 0..
    U = – R or H = R
    Means, When there is no imagination, Happiness is reality.

    Similarly, When there is no unhappiness or happiness
    U = 0
    I = R
    Mean, when there is no happiness, Our reality is the imagination.

  26. Ya know out of everything that I’ve seen from Prager, this surprisingly makes sense and is something that I can wholeheartedly agree with. These are words that u tho for that I’d never say but damn, Prager actually talked about something that I can connect with on a personal level and agree with

  38. When most Americans reach their 30s and 40s and realized they achieved absolutely nothing and have not been loved by the community , and compare themselves to good well off people in rich mansions, they end up hating themselves

  42. it is important to realise what "image" actually is. if it an image you have in your head then it just imagining something where I come from we call that an imagination and the great thing about that is it's not real. the real problem is people get caught up in the imaginary things and never focus on reality. most unhappy people bought into "if you just work hard then you will succeed" thought in schools everywhere yet as an adult you realise that this is not true nor should it be. why shouldn't it be you ask because if it were true then everyone would still be unhappy because then there would be supply for things but no true demand for it and that bad. people want an easy life and when they can't get it they get unhappy blame everything else for their unhappiness instead of trying to find out the true problem. life isn't easy and that not just a human thing infact compare your life to that of a wild animal who has a harder life then? this is a product of no discipline in society and I think that is something we should change stop letting kids just do what they want stop just giving them what they demand if you truly value their lives like most say they do the teach them life is hard for if you learn that at a young age then it easier to deal with as an adult instead of having a bunch of whiney people complaining about how unhappy they are.