Dating: Don’t Waste Your Time
Why does the world of dating seem so complicated? Lauren Chen, host of Pseudo-Intellectual on BlazeTV, offers some useful navigational tools. It starts with this basic question: what is the purpose of dating? The answer may shock you.
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Script:
Women, here’s a revolutionary idea: Date with a purpose. What purpose? Getting married.
Whoa! Am I moving too fast for you? Making you uncomfortable? Dating, you say, is just—well, dating. You know—hook ups, casual flings, having fun.
Yeah? Who said so?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for fun, but I’m interested in something deeper here—like happiness. I’m certainly not saying that marriage should be the first topic of conversation. At least wait until the pizza is served (just kidding). But I am saying that you need to ask yourself this question: Why do you want to go on a date with someone? Physical attraction? That’s important. Common interest in something? Also important. But what else?
Let’s face it, most of the time, we—and by “we” here, I’m referring to women—have no idea. We have no plan. That’s okay as far it goes. But “as far as it goes” is not very far. And, frankly, not very smart.
But let’s play out the scenario. We too often assume that relationships have levels of commitment, progressing—if they progress at all—like video games. A hookup is level one, dating is level two; level three—living together. And then, after we’ve had those, maybe we’re ready for marriage.
But in fact, relationships usually don’t progress that way. Hookups arise out of whim, impulse, or simple attraction. Dating is often based on compatibility or convenience, and sometimes on the hope that something serious might develop. Living together may be based on real love and a tryout for marriage. But it can also be based on less serious considerations, like lack of other opportunities, desire for a roommate, or the inability to afford a single apartment.
But marriage is a different enterprise entirely. Those looking for a good marriage are looking
for someone who wants to build a shared life. They’re looking for someone who shares their values and beliefs―moral, political, and, where applicable, religious. They view each other not only as a “partner,” but as something even more profound: husband and wife.
The problem with so many dating relationships is that people enter them with completely different understandings of what the ideal outcome should be. He wants X, and she wants Y.
And it’s easy to get distracted and fooled by superficial compatibility. They’re thrilled they both like kombucha, kayaking and karaoke on the weekends. That’s all great, but when do you get down to the stuff that really matters over the long run? Stuff like marriage, family, faith, and values.
I say: the sooner, the better. If a relationship looks like it has a future, talk about it early on. And if doesn’t look like it has a future, what are you doing in it?
I have no doubt the reason so many women get stuck in dead-end relationships is that it has become taboo―or, to be precise, not politically correct―for a woman to articulate what she really wants.
Which takes me back to marriage, and why women crave it. Here are three reasons:
Protection.
Commitment.
Love.
Nothing wrong with wanting those things. It is something women have wanted—and great societies have valued—for thousands of years. It is something men still want, too. Little wonder: Study after study shows that those in good marriages are happier, healthier, even wealthier, than those who are not. Like anything you want, you have to work toward it. And anything that isn’t moving you toward your goal is a waste of time.
What’s the difference between living with someone and marriage? It’s the difference between referring to the man in your life as “my boyfriend,” “significant other,” or “partner” and referring to him as “my husband.” And him referring to you as “my wife,” as compared with “my girlfriend.”
For the complete script, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/dating-dont-waste-your-time
source
Fine, I'll marry a Pokemon, jeez.
People don’t deserve love.
Prageru when they realize people have free will
is Lauren an AI bot? because she seems like an AI bot.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏amen, greetings from taiwan 🙌
0:01 Women, here’s a revolutionary idea: date with a purpose. What purpose? Getting married.
<Alright, this is the thesis>
0:09 Woah! Am I moving too fast for you? Making you uncomfortable?
<yes>
0:13 Dating, you say, is just—well, dating. You know: hook ups, casual flings, having fun, yeah? Who said so?
<me>
0:22 Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for fun, but I’m interested in something deeper here—like happiness.
<Are you not able to find happiness in hookups and dating?>
0:28 I’m certainly not saying marriage should be the first topic of conversation. At least wait until the pizza is served (just kidding).
<Glad we cleared that up>
0:36 But I am saying that you need to ask yourself this question: why do you want to go on a date with someone?
0:42 Physical attraction? That’s important. Common interest in something? Also important. But what else?
0:49 Let’s face it, most of the time, we—and by we here I’m referring to women—have no idea. We have no plan.
<What is wrong with that?>
<begging the question fallacy>
0:58 That’s okay as far as it goes, but “as far as it goes” is not very far, and frankly, not very smart.
<Why is that not very smart?>
<begging the question >
1:05 But let’s play out the scenario. We too often assume that relationships have levels of commitment, progressing—if they progress at all—like video games. A hookup is level one, dating is level two; level three—living together. Then, after we’ve had those, maybe we’re ready for marriage.
<not entirely sure if most people think like that>
1:24 But in fact, relationships usually don’t progress that way.
<true>
1:28 Hookups arise out of whim, impulse, or simple attraction. Dating is based off of compatibility or convenience, and sometimes on the hope that something serious may develop.
<true>
1:40 Living together may be based on real love and a tryout for marriage, but it can also be based on less serious considerations, like lack of other opportunities, desire for a roommate, or the inability to afford a single apartment.
<true>
<How does this prove your thesis at the beginning, though?>
<What is wrong with these things?>
<begging the question fallacy>
1:53 But marriage is a different enterprise entirely. Those looking for a good marriage are looking for someone who wants to build a shared life. They’re looking for someone who shares their values and beliefs—moral, political, and, where applicable—religious.
<Aren’t there non-married couples out there that do the same things you just described? You don’t necessarily need marriage to build a shared life like this>
2:08 They view each other not only as a “partner”, but as something more profound: husband and wife.
<How is this more profound?>
<begging the question>
2:14 The problem with so many dating relationships is that people enter them with completely different understandings with what the ideal outcome should be. He wants X, and she wants Y.
<True, that happens. That doesn’t necessarily mean that everybody needs to desire marriage in order to solve this miscommunication. This problem could instead be solved by simply openly communicating with your partner about what you want, so that you can figure out if you two are compatible moving forward.>
2:26 And it’s easy to get distracted and fooled by superficial compatibility. They’re thrilled they both like kombucha, kayaking and karaoke on the weekends.
2:35 That’s all great, but when do you get down to the stuff that really matters over the long run?
Stuff like marriage, family, faith, and values.
<Why do all these things like marriage, family, faith and values matter, though?>
<begging the question fallacy>
<Also, you can still have family, faith and values without getting married.>
2:44 I say, the sooner the better. If a relationship looks like it has a future, talk about it early on, and if it doesn’t look like it has a future—what are you doing in it?
<What’s wrong with it not having a future? Why does every date and hookup have to lead to marriage?>
<begging the question>
2:54 I have no doubt the reason so many women get stuck in dead-end relationships is that it has become taboo—or, to be precise, not politically correct—for a woman to articulate what she really wants.
<Strawman argument>
<When has wanting to get married become politically incorrect???>
3:06 Which takes me back to marriage, and why women crave it. Here are three reasons: Protection. Commitment. Love. Nothing wrong with wanting those things.
<I agree, that’s fine. That doesn’t prove that every woman should get married, though. You don’t necessarily need marriage to have those things.>
<You also don’t have to be committed to your partner for the rest of your life in order to have a good relationship.>
3:18 It is something women have wanted—and great societies have valued—for thousands of years. It is something men still want, too.
<Again, there is nothing wrong with men and women wanting to get married. I draw the line though, when you say that everybody in a relationship should get married.>
3:26 Little wonder: Study after study shows that those in good marriages are happier, healthier, even wealthier than those who are not.
<Marriage was the right choice for some people, therefore it must be the right choice for everyone!—overgeneralization fallacy>
3:34 Like anything you want, you have to work toward it, and anything that isn’t moving you towards your goal is a waste of time.
3:41 What’s the difference between living with someone and marriage? It’s the difference between referring to the man in your life as “my boyfriend”, “significant other”, or “partner” and referring to him as “my husband”; and him referring to you as “my wife”, as compared with “my girlfriend”.
<What’s the difference between boyfriends and husbands and girlfriends and wives?>
<Begging the question fallacy>
3:58 Ask anyone who has taken the plunge and they’ll tell you living together and marriage have nothing in common.
4:05 It’s sort of like the difference between living in a country and being a citizen of that country. The latter, with its commitment, obligations and expectations means a lot more.
<Why do the commitments, obligations and expectations mean a lot more in a marriage, though?>
<Begging the question>
4:15 To someone who tells you a marriage license is trivial, “just a piece of paper”, here’s a good response: If it’s just a piece of paper, why are you so reluctant to sign it? The answer, of course, is that no one believes that it’s trivial. Everyone knows it’s the most important decision you’ll ever make.
<Not entirely true. The reason some people don’t sign it, is because they believe it’s trivial and a waste of time. Why waste your time going through a bunch of legal shit and paperwork for something that you believe is only trivial?>
4:35 So treat it that way. Here’s a good rule of thumb: think about the kind of relationship you want as much as you think of what kind of career you want.
<that I can agree with>
4:44 I’m not anti-career. I’m just pro-relationship. Specifically pro-marriage, because when you get it right, that’s the best relationship there is.
And it starts with the first date.
<Aaaand you lost me at the end>
https://youtu.be/zLDFqPb9oQs?si=ueB5ZrRfydWEu9Q1
stop telling people what to do.
its not you dating, they can do whatever they want (as long as they're not breaking the law.)
Any relationship that involves dating should be taken really seriously. And yes it does include looking into possible marriage later on in the relationship.
How do you find woman to date? , nobody responds to online messages and if you talk to a woman in public you’re a weirdo.
Marriage is an important. But what is more important, is finding a partner that is worthy of it in 2023. Men aren't proposing, because women aren't traditional prospects anymore. And, courts destroy the man when the experiment fails.
my god lauren, your right. ill go propose to my gay lover right now
The next time I have the urge to get married, I'm going to find a woman I hate, and buy her a house.
OMG. I can't believe anybody would buy into this crap. These people aren't psychologist or therapist or even teachers. They are a bunch of alt right Republicans trying to push an agenda. Their agenda. This is how they want you to live. They want to control the narrative.
Nobody listen to Lauren, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about
5 Toxic Men To Avoid: (Warning!)
(Message For Heterosexual Women)
-Bad Boys (Womanizers)
-Incels (Creeps)
-Macho Gangsters (Thugs)
-Misogynists (Bigots)
-Nice Guys (Manipulators)
(Make sure he behaves like a gentleman period.)
5 Toxic Women To Avoid: (Warning!)
(Message For Heterosexual Men)
-False Accusers (Liars)
-Gold Diggers (Scammers)
-Misandrists (Bigots)
-Seductresses (Manipulators)
-Spoiled Divas (Whiners)
(Make sure she behaves like a lady period.)
Message For Heterosexual Men & For Heterosexual Women:
-I have a simple message for heterosexual men around the world, who are looking for a real monogamous romantic relationship with a woman. If a woman does not behave like a lady, she is more likely to be toxic. Also she will either abandon you, or abuse you, or cheat on you, or embarrass you, or falsely accuse you, or ignore you, or manipulate you, or stalk you, or use you for money.
-I have a simple message for heterosexual women around the world, who are looking for a real monogamous romantic relationship with a man. If a man does not behave like a gentleman, he is more likely to be toxic. Also he will either abandon you, or abuse you, or cheat on you, or embarrass you, or ignore you, or manipulate you, or stalk you, or treat you as property.
"Smart men don't get married." – Matthew Fox
These days, you should date and go on many dates to get to know them good before marriage. And no hookups (inaccurate language) before.
I don't want anyone to get divorced once or twice like Dennis has.
And no porn before or during marriage (or ever).
You should get married if you don't get married, you won't be married.
Is roamy even married yet?
Don't Waste Your Time Datimg Dennis Prager!!
I understand the value of not wasting your time when dating but Lauren says that the benefits of marriage include: Protection, commitment, and love. Can these actions not be provided in a secure romantic relationship that is not marriage?
Also she doesn't explain what she means by "protection" in a marriage. Protection from what? Physical threats? She makes it seem like a woman needs a husband to protect her as if a boyfriend or loving friend/family member can't protect her or as if she can't protect herself. If she is making these claims she needs to elaborate.
Life can't be always about marriage because we are different. And yet giving birth should be done only through people having 90% similiar genuine values.
Marriage is really really a strong bond on many factors and lives that some just can't seem to find but all factors dispersed among different people.
Partners to give birth to children to take care of them to grow up is commited love too. We can't have everything fallen from the sky to give people a future.
In countries with poverty or humanitarian crisis marriage was never often rosy and ideal what Lauren said in this sense .
I think marriage is a strong commitment despite how turbulent it might be
Marriage can't be sustainable by everyone perfect match cherry picking without differences.
It's would be a strong privelege to have such ideal marriage handed up in life . And you shouldn't be close minded about relationships.
Progress is what matters.
Moral of this video: Marriage is important and good for a serious relationship
Conservatives: Gay people shouldnt be able to get married
Wait statistically do most women want a deep relationship? I think it's only a small percentage of women who date casually just for fun and hookups. I think most women really want to be married too. We intrinsically want stability and security and love and to be the only one. So maybe this should be directed at men LOL men are the ones who like the casual dating and hookups. I think it's really broken women who take part in this and really really broken women who celebrate it
3:31 The woman looks like she should blink if she needs help
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLDFqPb9oQs&ab_channel=BigJoel
Religious Retards: Get Married or you be unhappy.
Gays: Ok we would lov….
Also Religious Retards: NO!
Easy to get married if you look and sound like this lady.