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Why Even Atheists Should Teach Their Children about God

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As a therapist, Erica Komisar is often asked by parents, “How do I talk to my child about death if I don’t believe in God or heaven?” Her answer is always the same. Can you guess what it is?

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Script:

As a therapist, I’m often asked why depression and anxiety are so common among children and adolescents. One explanation—almost surely the most neglected—is declining interest in God and religion.

I see the consequences of this in my practice almost every day. 

And this is not merely my personal observation. A 2018 Harvard study involving 5,000 people examined how being raised in a family with religious beliefs affects the mental health of children. 

The study found that kids who attended a religious service at least once per week scored higher on psychological well-being measurements and had lower risks of mental illness.

Weekly attendance was also associated with higher rates of volunteerism, lower probabilities of both drug use and early sexual initiation, and a sense of purpose.

Yet, despite all the evidence that religious involvement leads to positive behaviors, Gallup reports that the U.S. has seen a 20% decrease in attendance at formal religious services in the past 20 years. In 2018, the American Family Survey revealed that nearly half of adults under 30 do not identify with any religion.

From a purely psychological point of view, this is not a good trend. 

Nihilism—the belief in nothing—is a rich fertilizer for anxiety and depression. In contrast, the belief in God—a guardian figure who loves us—is an invaluable source of support and comfort.

I am often asked by parents, “How do I talk to my child about death if I don’t believe in God or heaven?” 

My answer is always the same: 

“Fake it.”

There are a many things you don’t tell your children the full truth about.  For instance, if your children hear about a tragedy that has occurred in your community, you tell them that it will never happen to them. We don’t have a crystal ball and cannot know that bad things will not happen to our children, yet we reassure them with a hopeful narrative.

The same applies to believing in God and heaven.

Even if you believe that when your life ends, your bones turn to dust and you are gone for eternity, such beliefs don’t help children, they only scare them and create anxiety over death and dying. Belief in a benevolent God and a heaven does help children with their fear. 

In our current age of broken families, distracted parents, school violence, and nightmarish global-warming predictions, imagination plays a big part in children’s ability to cope. It is far better for kids to use their imagination constructing something positive—such as a God who cares about us—than the dark, nihilistic idea that there’s no creator and protector, and no purpose to our existence.

I am also frequently asked how parents can instill gratitude and empathy in their children. Again, the best answer is involvement in an organized religion. All traditional faiths encourage gratitude and empathy as antidotes to entitlement and selfishness. These are the building blocks of strong character. They also protect against depression and anxiety.

Additionally, religion provides children a chance for community. Being with people who share their faith can act as a buffer against the emptiness and isolation of modern culture. This is more necessary than ever in a world where teens can have hundreds of virtual friends and few real ones.

And religion helps teach children mindfulness, a sense of self-control, and discipline. Your young children might not be aware they are entering a house of worship, but they do know they’re supposed to act in an appropriate manner when they are there. They have to relax their bodies and calm their minds.

It is true that if you feel ambivalent about God and religion your children will likely follow your example.  However, if you practice religion or send your children to religious school knowing it is good for them, you might surprise yourself and get something meaningful out of it too.  In other words, your children may bring you back to faith. It’s certainly worth an extended experiment for their sake and for yours.

For the complete script as well as FACTS & SOURCES, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/why-even-atheists-should-teach-their-children-about-god

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40 Comments

  1. @4:25 " If you take the idea seriously that your children should be free to choose or reject god and religion, they need to be exposed to god and religion.

    How else will they be able to make a free and informed choice? "

    What a crock of shit!! That is just a statement of indoctrination into the ONLY god and religion that a parent wants their child to adhere to and hopefully not reject.
    Her claim is exactly why Jewish children usually have Jewish parents. Muslim children usually have Muslim parents. And Christian children usually have Christian parents.
    They are all automatically told to reject all other gods and religions from the get go. That is far from giving children the freedom to choose or reject a god and a religion.

    If she was honest, her statement should have read:

    " If you take the idea seriously that your children should be free to choose or reject a god and a religion, they need to be exposed to various gods and religions.

    How else will they be able to make a free and informed choice as to which god and religion to believe in and which ones to reject, if not all? "

  3. What a bunch of ultra-biased, brainwashed, primitive minded BS. I've been an Atheist for 40 years, and continue to encounter the mentality that somehow believing in something that there is literally zero objectively verifiable evidence for is somehow superior to accepting reality far too often. Seriously people, feel free to believe what you want, but trying to tell others that they're "wrong" or cheating their children or whatever for not sharing your delusions is beyond ludicrous.

  6. NEVER…………EVER………..place any stock in any mental health practitioner that injects ANY gawd into her practice.

    It is unprofessional and offends standards of practice.

    No excuses………EVER.

  11. Another explanation is idiots that push their ridiculous belief on their children. Now this bull shit doesn't happen in other countries with less religious belief than America, perhaps the problem is the lack of real education in the US not the belief in imaginary gods.

  13. Yes the study might support the claim by correlation but it doesn’t tell us why that is … hence it’s just conjecture. You likely will find similar results when having something like group activities for your child building resilience ect. Correlation is not causation but explain that to a religious therapist 😅

  14. If she's a practicing psych, I can get in on that too, apparently. Not only has she committed a couple logical fallacies, she can't even read a scientific journal/study. That Harvard study she recited, wasn't saying that a religious upbringing improved mental health. She apparently didn't read the whole thing.

  15. So you people are seriously suggesting to atheists to LIE to their children? Surely, as a therapist, this lady should know that lying to children is amongst the worst things to do to them? What about "you shall bear no false witness", is that not valid, if you lie for god? Are those the famous moral values that religion teaches you? This video is so disgraceful and shameful on so many levels, I can't even begin… Hypocrites.

    How the hell are you supposed to pull this off, anyway? Especially when it is about such a fundamental question that informs lots of your opinions and behaviours? Children don't know much and are trusting, but they're not stupid. They WILL figure you out, and they will KNOW you lied to them in order to influence them, and they won't trust you on anything any more. This gigantic betrayal may scar them for life. When I was growing up, I could always rely on my parents to tell me the truth. If they thought I'm to young for such matters, they would simply SAY SO. If I asked something they did not know, they TOLD ME they don't know. And if they answered my questions, I knew that it is to the best of their knowledge. That is the relation kids need to have with their parents. They should not distrust or despise you as the liar you are.

  17. "Kids who attended religious service at least once a week scored higher on psychological well-being measurements". That says very little about religion, and a whole lot about dysfunctional families. I grew up in a dysfunctional family that didn't go to church every week because we weren't functional enough to go consistently. My mental health struggles (depression and ptsd) were a factor of my trauma, not of my church attendance. The kids who don't regularly tend to church are still mostly raised religious, but they are also the kids that tend to have the most trauma.

  22. As a therapist, Erica Komisar is often asked by parents, “How do I talk to my child about death if I don’t believe in God or heaven?” Her answer is always the same. Can you guess what it is?

    "Fake it."

    And here, we see the ultimate nihilism of PragerU's religious take on life. Reality doesn't matter, knowledge is useless, morality is spurious and human values are baseless. God is everything; humans are nothing. Nothing matters.
    Of all the advice you can give, of the thousands of ways you can handle this question, this is the advice Komisar goes for. When the going gets tough: fake it.

    The question you have to answer for yourself is, – as a parent, mother, father, or just a fellow human -. Would you want advice of such a person?

  23. How can you be so stupid as to ask such a moronic question?

    What is the effing definition of "atheism"

    Why the heck would we teach absolute BS brainwashing shit to our kids?

    (And before you mention Easter Bunny or Santa or …….that shit was shoved down our throats by department stores…and even little kids learn very quickly it is just parents)

  24. Do you really think anyone should take your last point about exposing them to religion in order to make a free choice seriously? Give me a break. You just said earlier in the video to fake it. How could it possibly be a free choice when they have been lied to? Typical christian garbage. "Lying is a sin unless it benefits me." So pathetic.

  28. See Professor Plink’s video in response to this video, for a rational perspective. Parent here: I'm teaching my kid about god, and letting him know that god is fiction, and that Christianity/Islam/Judaism are an awful absurdity, complete fictitious useless garbage in the 21st century. God is created by humans in the image of knuckle dragging human. God is fiction in every religion, culture, and language, every second of every day, 365. In summary, god is human nonsense, a crutch for the weak. that's what I teach my kid (and anybody that needs to know) about god.

  32. Forcing your iron age ignorant superstitions onto children is CHILD ABUSE
    Ah for yet ANOTHER strawman an atheist is NOT Nihilist, although most do not make up invisible friends due to their ignorance and superstition
    Twisting reports is not helping your case either ANY social group will generally increase happiness. All the church groups is restrict socialisation and interactions

  33. but… but THE MOST crissschun source tells me that the g0d does not love us. What gives? Is the bible a b00k of lies?

    (rhetorical questions)

    and now I wonder how my childhood was so happy, although NOBODY mentioned ANY deity EVER

    Erika, have you ever seen a child??? If cared for and talked to, they behave. Anywhere. They are your happy little "helpers". So much so, that they are happy to put a chocolate bar BACK to the shelf. They keep their back seat madness to a minimum and let you focus on driving and traffic. Just explain the world and your reasons to them. No magic needed.

    me? BACK to faith? To the thing I've never had? Damn, children these days are O.P.! Nerfed in the next patch? Wonder why children 9 millenia ago never took anybody back to christianity?

    exposure :- ) and if I wanna let them choose or reject islam? Erika, you don't wanna argue for exposure, trust me. not that type of exposure. Their history teachers will explain how and why religi0ns were invented and abused on entire populations

    instead of spitting bullsh!t, you should let our children know 2 things:

    – what is the g0d?

    – how do you KNOW what the g0d is?

    (knowledge can be demonstrated. Belief is a collection of empty CLAIMS. Trust is based on evidence)

  36. I wish I wasn't lied to as a child. I value honesty no matter how much it might hurt. But if you are going to lie to you children, let them know it was a lie when they get to an age where they can handle it. Otherwise, when they discover the truth, they might just see you as a big fat liar. I personally saw thru the religious BS at a very early age but the adults continued to feed me this garbage. It was frustrating because I could tell that most of them didn't even believe what they were trying to convince me of. I started doubting everything adults said and got into lots of trouble. So, to me, I put god in the same category as all the other lies I was told as a child….santa claus, easter bunny, tooth fairy….
    Not all kids are dumb and need lies to cope with reality.
    But it seems lots of adults still need it.

  37. Liars spreading lies and advising parents to also lie to their children, real classy prageru. Stuff like this will drive people away from you far better than anything else ever could. I just wonder if you are knowingly lying, or just ignorant. (I suspect it is a mix of both within your organization.)

  38. Despite PragerU trying to make it seem like ONLY religious groups can have positive effects, the fact is that the sense of belonging to a community does not depend on religion. If you really cared about mental health, you would not be ostracizing LGBTQ students. You would be telling them, at school, that they are normal individuals and are perfectly functional and loved just as they are. Instead, all you care for is your religious agenda. Do not try to masquerade as real care for children's well-being.

  39. Teaching children about a hell full of agonising punishments in which they'll burn forever should be categorised as child abuse because it scars their mind for life. If your only way to make the child moral is to psychologically damage him/her, you're yourself morally bankrupt.