Why Self-Esteem Is Self-Defeating | 5 Minute Video
Is having high self-esteem key to happiness? That’s what children are told. But is it true? Or can that advice be doing more harm than good? Author and columnist Matt Walsh explains. Donate today to PragerU! http://l.prageru.com/2ylo1Yt
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Script:
I have no self-esteem.
I’m not saying I dislike myself, or that I have a problem with my self-image. And I don’t have low self-esteem. I’m just saying that I have no self-esteem at all.
Why? For the same reason that I have no pet unicorns. Self-esteem is a fantasy. It’s a meaningless fabrication that exists only in your imagination.
The dictionary defines “esteem” this way: “To regard with admiration.” Self-esteem, therefore, means to regard yourself with admiration. But is that how we should see ourselves?
If someone asked you who you admire, would you really want to answer, “Well, I admire myself”? Would that be a good thing?
I would say no… emphatically.
I was hardly a precocious kid, but I think I realized this “self-esteem” thing was a racket as far back as junior high. I remember when the guidance counselor at my school handed out a worksheet and asked us to “rate” our self-esteem on a scale of 1 to 10. Meanwhile, kids in China were learning silly things like “math” and “science.” Now we’re bankrupt and they own the country. But at least we all feel pretty good about ourselves.
In any case, there we were, facing the important task of arbitrarily quantifying our egos. When I asked my teacher why I should have high self-esteem, she said, “Because you’re special.” When I asked why I was special, she said, “Because you’re you!”
I found this an odd statement at the time, coming as it was from the woman who’d just given me a D on my last math quiz. Most of my classmates, though, quickly jotted down nines and tens. Incidentally, some of them would grow up to be unemployed alcoholics, but I’m guessing if they could take that test again, they’d score themselves exactly the same.
See, that’s the whole point of self-esteem: to be proud of yourself even when there’s no reason to be proud of yourself.
Of course, apologists will claim that self-esteem is simply about confidence, and that you need confidence to succeed in life. Okay. But if self-esteem is simply about confidence, then why don’t we just call it “confidence”?
Because confidence must be earned.
A student is confident about doing well on a test if he studies for it. An athlete is confident on the field if he practices. A singer is confident in her abilities if she, in fact, has abilities.
Self-esteem, on the other hand, can be defined as “unearned confidence.” The person with “high self-esteem” (also known as a “narcissist”) feels good about himself on the basis of nothing. We may ask him: “Why do you esteem yourself?” And his learned response will be: “Because I’m me.”
Like a modern day Narcissus, he can’t see the world outside the window because he’s too busy whispering sweet nothings to his reflection in the glass.
For the complete script, visit https://www.prageru.com/videos/why-self-esteem-self-defeating
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I always viewed self-esteem as that thing that stops you from demeaning yourself by doing things that make you appear desperate, fragile, or needy. So if you try to make plans with a woman, and she doesn't get back to you, self esteem would be that thing that stops you from contacting her again when she's clearly not interested. Or when she breaks up with you, self-esteem, is that thing that stops you from begging her to take you back. Or if you get yelled at by your boss, self esteem is that thing that stops you from sitting in a corner and crying about it.
Ironically, this makes me feel better because I was always the kid who had "low self-esteem" and was realistic about my flaws.
I had to take tae kwon do in college to learn this.
https://youtu.be/NTdet5KQCM8?si=Vy4duvlTXgwcYelN
And yet somehow we're in a dark age of mental health. Weird
I agreed with Matt when I was 16 purely because I had low self esteem
"I am not special and also I think that 15 is a good age for girls to get pregnant" -Matt Walsh (unprompted)
First, this is idiotic. Second, Walsh’s eyes are REALLY disturbing. They’re lifeless.
Dude looks dead.
Dude looks dead and apathetic.
True conference and self estem come from God. Pride in youeself goes before the fall
Rachel Zegler has high self-esteem.😅😂🤣
glad he came forward with his daddy issues
So Homeless have high self esteem? Drunks, druggies have no self esteem?
2023, anyone? 💜😊
Hm, what an interesting young man. I have the feeling this guy in 5 years after the publishing of this video will be producing badass documentaries and make it into mainstream media headlines
This guy looks like a nerdy Matt Walsh
If Matt had confidence then he wouldn’t feel so threatened by gay people.
Perfect reasoning
Oh thanks heaps for making me laugh out loud and smile. I could't agree more with your views, thanks.
I first watched this video before I knew who Matt Walsh is. Looking back at it now, I wanna say that he's yet another example of how men always look our best in our thirties and beyond, so long as we take care of ourselves. In our younger years, no matter how well-kept, muscular, well-postured, or confident we are, we just look inexperienced and lower in rank. However, as we age and appear more masculine, we have more authority in society, making us more attractive on that front too. Basically, when we're too young, it shows.
Being self-aware is FAR more important than having high self-esteem, because you can't love yourself if you don't KNOW yourself.